The One Where Our 3YO Threw Up the Devil Horns.... At Church

Baby R has been growing by leaps and bounds lately. She started climbing up on the sofa the week before Easter, I just forgot to mention it in my last post. She also started saying, "K." So conversations with her now go like this:

"Baby R, are you hungry? Do you want to eat?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Please don't put your fingers in your milk."

"K."

She makes the sign for "sleep" and says, "Seeeeep."

"Baby R, are you ready for your nap?'

"No!"


Then she said her first three-word sentence: "I want cake." That's my girl. She said it at DH's bday celebration which was the Saturday after I got sick. I had started to feel better by my last post, but by that Friday night, I could tell I was getting an ear infection. I asked him if we could reschedule. He suggested asking his mom if we could have it at her house. That was a huge relief. At 3am, the pain in  my ear was so excruciating, it woke me up. About 15 minutes later, S woke up and had a big tantrum. It was awesome.

Saturday, we picked up a store-bought cake and went to DH's mom's. I ended up going to urgent care after and getting a Z-pac. Hallelujah! Poor hubs - a lame bday, that's for sure.

Sunday, Baby R started pulling on her ear. Sigh. Luckily she made it through the night ok, and I took her to the ped Monday morning. Ear infection for her, too. :(

The next weekend was Mother's Day. I left DH's family's get together up to him and his sister. Which resulted in it being at our house on Saturday afternoon. Which was fantastic since we've been sick for the last month so I hadn't cleaned. And I didn't find out until Thursday night. And I had tickets to the ballet Friday night. Which meant I only had Saturday to clean like a mad woman.

Sunday we picked up my parents and met my sister and BIL for brunch in a suburb about halfway between our house and my BIL's family. It was nice, but the girls were antsy after the 45 minute car ride, so I spent most of the morning chasing them around. So Mother's Day weekend was pretty much just exhausting.

One day last week it was raining when we got in the van. I turned the rear wiper on, and S noticed it for the first time. "Mom, you have TWO wipers? That's genius!"

Last Thursday I got home from work and Baby R had a black eye. DH said there was some discrepancy as to how she had gotten it - whether she had fallen on her own or had a little help from big sister - but she'd fallen into the corner of one of the desk drawers in the kitchen. Poor baby!

Friday night was S's preschool Spring Show. The teacher said they didn't have to dress up, but I thought S might want to. When she got home that day, I asked her if she wanted to change out of her shorts jumper into one of her dresses. She didn't. It had gotten cold, so I suggested at least changing into some long pants. Nope. She just wanted to wear her winter coat (not her spring one that would have been sufficient). She was wearing one pink sock and one white sock, and shoes on the wrong feet. I asked if she might be more comfortable if she put her shoes on correctly. She liked them that way. So freaking cute.

So we went to the show. All the grandparents came as well as my older sister. The kids counted, did an alphabet song, a colors song and then played a song on the bells. Then they did a little play and we watched a slide show of photos from the year (tears!). It finished with getting little caps and diplomas and having a cookie cake. So fun!

My BFF since 4th grade is her teacher and she is a-ma-zing. Here are a couple of pictures of projects they did this year:

Dragon for Chinese New Year

Piggy Bank from Mini Water Bottle

Mother's Day Gift: "Flower" Handprints on Bendy Straws

Yesterday, S and I went to our church for the first time in about six weeks since we've been sick and spent Easter at my sister's. We were singing during worship time and, as usual, she was dancing around. Then all of a sudden, I realized she was holding up her little fists with her pointer and pinky fingers out like Daddy had shown her to rock out. We've never referred to to it as "throwing up the devil horns" to her, but all I could think was, "Please don't let anyone else think that's what it means!"

What Do You Pledge?

I have beliefs, religious and personal. In my mind, my perspective on these subjects is the right one. (Logically, I wouldn't believe in something I thought was wrong.) My convictions are not the same as all the other people on the planet. There are many, many religions. There are countless other causes people support. Just like me, each person believes that their own personal values are the right ones.

My religion is Christianity. A part of that religion is the idea that God created human beings with free will. No one, not even God, can make us do anything. So why do people, oftentimes Christians, try so hard to force others to bend to their way of thinking?

We threaten, instead of explain.

We bully, instead of embrace.

Where there could be open dialogue, there is close-minded judgement.

Where there is the possibility for a myriad of personalities to interact in harmony, there is prejudice that says if you believe in something different than I do, you fall into a category, and I can't relate to you.

It's an all-or-nothing attitude. When an impasse is reached, we don't say, "Let's just agree to disagree," we continue to fight, wasting energy and resources to force compliance.

I remember being in Geography class in high school and a speaker addressing us about the Middle Eastern countries warring over the Gaza strip, different groups fighting for land because it holds religious significance to them. I raised my hand and asked, "Why can't they just share it? It's land - it's not a toy or a single thing that would have to be traded back and forth. Lots of people can live on it, or use it. Or they could just designate it as holy land for no one to use."

The speaker and the teacher traded an amused look. "If only it were that simple."

But does it really have to be that complicated? Why don't the rules that govern toddlers rule the world? Share. If you can't share, no one gets to play with it.

The reality is, they can't share. Because that would be admitting that it's possible that they aren't right. And they will never give up that fight. They will make the world see that their way is the right way.

This is me saying, I think my way is the right way, 

but I know I can't make you agree with me. 

And I don't want to try to force you to. 

I want you to chat with me. I want you to tell me what you believe and why. I want to get to know you - not make assumptions about who I think you are because you say you are a Democrat or a Republican. And if you disagree with me, great! The world would be a boring place if we all had the same opinions. Share your thoughts, and let's see what happens.

The Internet and social media are making the world a smaller and smaller place. Is it really that far-fetched to think that starting to treat others respectfully in these realms could carry over into real life? Imagine what that would look like. I can't wait to find out...

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I'm being featured on efloraross.com today as a member of The Mom Pledge Community. Over 260 mommy bloggers have taken the pledge to fight online bullying. Please consider joining!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Build & Grow Music Box

Saturday was crazy busy. DH took S to Lowe's for the "Build and Grow" project. I LOVE that they have this special Daddy/daughter activity. This week they made a music box with a heart-shaped lid. While they were gone, Baby R took a much needed nap. She was up from midnight to 3am Thursday AND Friday night. She'd been constipated the first night (only took me 3 hours to figure it out!), but I had no idea what was going on the second night. Usually I would take advantage of that time to nap, too, but I had too much to do. Three of my friends had babies last week - holy love-making in May, Batman! - and I was scheduled to bring dinner to one of them that day. I texted to see when would be a good time since I wasn't sure if they'd gotten home from the hospital yet. They hadn't. So we rescheduled - whew! That afternoon we went to our nephew's bday party (13 - YIKES!). That night I went out with some of the SPC girls.

(I need to do a separate post about the origins of SPC and some of our shenanigans, but for now, suffice it to say that for most of my 20's, there were about 30-40 of us who were single and hung out, playing sports together, going to happy hours, hosting weekend keggers, going on camping/skiiing/trips around the world together, so we dubbed ourselves the Social Planning Committee. We had an interactive website and everything long before Facebook. Yeah, we were cool.)

Anyway, one of the girls from that group planned a Girls Night Out. We had snacks and drinks at her house and played "Just Dance" on the Wii which was hilarious. One of the songs was by Fatboy Slim and the routine had kind of a tribal vibe. It reminded us of the African Anteater Ritual from "Can't Buy Me Love". (That's still how I think of Patrick Dempsey, as Ronald Miller, not McDreamy.) Anyway, one of the guys from our gang was kind enough to be the sober driver for us and took us to a bar nearby, Touché.

Now, I have to explain a bit about this bar. Here's a description taken straight from their website: "Geared towards the middle aged crowd that grew up with the fabulous music of the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s, Touché is an upscale night club located in..." Middle aged is an incredibly nice way to put it. The bulk of the patrons didn't grow up in the 60's, 70's and 80's; they ARE in their 60's, 70's and 80's. Maybe a third of the people there were between 40 and 60. And then there were about a dozen who were under 40 (6 of them were us). We went there purely for the joy of people-watching. Most of the ladies wore full-sequined gowns. A few had on tube tops and mini-skirts. One was wearing a denim mini-skirt that had red hearts on the buns, and a shirt with hearts on it that lit up. True story. I can't make this craziness up. And the dancing, well. Everything from inappropriate touching and grinding to stiff-framed arms.

Only a few of us had been there before. It's a membership club, and the girl who planned the night actually has a membership. OMG.

My favorite quotes from the night:

"When you said it was a bar for old people, I thought you meant old like us. Not old like old."

"It's like 'Cocoon' in here!"

("Erotic City" by Prince came on. Several of us did the SQUEAL! I LOVE THIS SONG! as we scrambled out to the dance floor.)
Friend S: "I don't know this song."
Me: "Ok, now I feel like I'm old enough to belong here." (Which, sadly after reading the blurb from the website, I guess technically I do.)

Sunday morning, DH let me sleep in, made me breakfast in bed, did laundry AND dusted the office. I could not have felt more blessed. I went to the second part of the meeting at church about what they believe and how things work, and I was thrilled to hear all the things I had hoped to hear. That will be my new church home. YAY!

After church, we had lunch, and put the girls down for naps. Baby R only slept for about an hour and a half (boo), and S never did go to sleep (double boo). After dinner we went for a walk since it's FINALLY nice enough to go outside again. And poor Baby R tripped and fell, not once, not twice, but three times. Scratched up her nose, cheek and forehead. I'm a terrible mother. But she didn't want to ride in the wagon; she wanted to keep walking. Hopefully it taught her to catch herself with her hands and not her face.

When she was crying, I saw that she has gotten two molars in! That explains the sleepless nights last week. It didn't even occur to me that she might be teething; she wasn't gnawing on stuff like she usually does. And molars? She's only got 6 teeth for crying out loud! I know they can come in in any order after the first two, but it surprised me. Bad mommy again! I could have at least given her some ibuprofen if I'd realized.

Gifts From My Valentine

Today is Valentine's Day. DH got me a dozen red roses, a box of chocolates and a heart-shaped cookie. He got S a rose and a cookie as well, and Baby R a rose. So sweet. He put theirs in single-stem vases and put them in their bedrooms.

Tonight at bedtime, S told me she wants to get lots and lots of dogs. I asked her how many and she said 11.

Eleven? Wow, what are you going to name them?

Flower, Flower, Flower. (Clearly looking right at the rose from Daddy.)

They're all going to be named the same, huh?

And Shelf. (Looking at the shelf.)

Shelf, huh? So 10 Flowers and 1 Shelf?

Yep. He will be grey, and we will paint him pink! (The shelf was another Lowe's project she and Daddy did. When they brought it home, they painted it pink.) But just his face. He's gonna fight it.

I'm sure he will if you try to paint him!

Well, maybe we'll only paint his tail.

I see.

And his pee.

(????) You're going to paint his pee pink?

Yeah, he will have to go pee. (whispers secretively) And poop.

Yes, he will. Everybody poops, right?

Yeah.

A Sinful Life

Vivobello tweeted that she lost a bunch of followers after writing this post about being harassed by strangers who thought she was a lesbian. I decided to take my comment on her blog and turn it into my own post because I really had more to say about it than was appropriate for that space.

I don’t often address this topic because for me, what it all comes down to is this: it’s really not my place to judge. Oh, I'm judgmental. I like to think that I'm not, but then I hear myself say or think things, and I know that I am. What I mean is that when The Day of Judgment arrives, I will not be the one who is doing the judging, so what difference does it make what I think? That said, here’s what I believe.

I believe that homosexuality is a sin. Yep, I said it. The 5 followers I have will now be un-following me (gasp!). Prepare yourself; there's more. I also believe gluttony is a sin. And sloth. (I’m a good 50 lbs overweight.) I believe taking the name of God in vain is a sin. (Oops.) I am not perfect. I commit LOTS of sins. I try not to and wish I didn’t, but it doesn’t matter what I do, I will always be a sinner. It’s only through the blood of Jesus that my sins are washed away. If someone walked up to me and said, "Oh my God, you're fat! You're going to hell, Lardass!", I would be quite shocked. I would be shaken and reply with witty repartee of some sort. Perhaps, "Oh yeah? So are you, you Taker-of-the-Lord's-Name-in-Vain-er, you!" (stick out tongue) Unlikely to happen right? So why do people think it's ok to say that kind of thing to people who are gay or lesbian? I have no idea. Fred Phelps, I'm talking to you.

Because I believe that it's a sin, I do believe it's something that is innate. I believe we are all born with the tendency to commit every sin - each of us just have ones that we find more tempting than others. Some people are just better at hiding their vices. Or are challenged with ones that are considered to be more acceptable for the mainstream. You know, like greed.

I know there are a lot of people who have experimented with same-sex acts. It's practically expected according to some college-experience movies. It's never been an area of interest for me, personally. Does that mean I don't think it's a real temptation? No. I just have my own demons to fight. Am I just better at winning the battles because I appear to be "normal"? No. I lose. A lot. And when I win? It's rarely due to me. It's all God-given strength.

My problem with standing up for gay rights isn’t that I don’t think everyone deserves equal rights, it’s that by bringing a sin into the equation, it skews the issue. If someone were to commit adultery, then want the world to be on their side because they believe humans aren't wired to be monogamous, people would... well, actually, some people probably would support that. I'm not saying homosexuals shouldn't receive the same legal rights with respect to property ownership and hospital visitation that heterosexual couples have. The right to be married, though... For me, marriage is a more complicated matter. I do believe marriage should be reserved for one man and one woman. Marriage is a religious AND civic act. So I also think that there should be some way for gay couples to achieve the social status/legal rights that go along with marriage. I don't have all the answers. I just know that I don't feel comfortable calling it "marriage" if it's not heterosexual. Doing so feels to me like it's condoning the sinful act. Although I suppose that's what we do when we say someone who is greedy is "acquisitive".

I am not homophobic. I have friends who are gay. I L-O-V-E the show "Modern Family" which depicts a gay couple. I find it hypocritical to think it’s ok to be a bigot when one is also a sinner (and we all are). My job is not to tell homosexuals they are going to hell for being gay. My job is to be the best Christian I can be by sharing God’s love and admit that I’m not perfect, and that I, too, need forgiveness for my sins.  I kind of suck at that job to be honest. But I want to be better at it.

The struggle is that part of asking for forgiveness is repentance. According to Webster, to repent is "to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life" or "to feel regret or contrition." I think that's a big reason why mainstreamers feel like they are less sinful than homosexuals. If a gay couple decides to get married, clearly there is no repentance involved. The mainstreamers can go to church and ask God to forgive them for skimming a little money from the till, and promise they won't do it again. Because no one else has to know. Then when they do it again, clearly NOT having turned from this sin, they'll ask for forgiveness again. There's no contrition. It's not really legitimate. But they convince themselves they've been forgiven because they asked. And again, no one else has to know. Kind of hard for no one else to know when you and your partner have to go public about your relationship since no one is buying that you're "just roommates". Some sins are easier to hide than others. But God knows your heart, and you can't hide anything from Him.

So the lesson for today, dear readers, isn't tolerance, it's acceptance. Accept that all of us are different. All of us are flawed. And none of us are worthy of heaven of our own accord. "Judge not, lest ye be judged." Focus on fixing your own flaws, not condemning others for theirs.