Thursday, March 24, 2011

I was feeling badly about my last post being so negative and had intended to write one today about how adorable the girls are and list all the cute things they are doing. But I had to put them to bed on my own tonight since DH's softball league started today (poor guys! why couldn't it have started a couple of days ago when it was 80 degrees out instead of back down to 40?). I read to Baby R with both girls on my lap in the glider, then asked S to go to her room and put a Pull-up on while I finished putting Baby R down. She went to the bookcase and got two small books out. She said they were for Baby R and started to put them in her crib. I told her no, we were done reading, I didn't want R to have them in her crib. She kept moving towards the crib, and I repeated no a few times until I almost yelled it. She looked me in the eye...and set the books in the crib. I pursed my lips and watched her walk out.

After putting Baby R down, I went to S's room. She was sitting on the bed with her clothes still on - including shoes. I asked her to take her shoes off since we don't have shoes on the bed. She complied and was happy and chatty while we got her ready for bed. Then it was time to read. "It's so sad, but I only read stories to little girls who mind me. You put the books in R's crib after I said not to. I won't be able to read to you tonight." She started having a tantrum and ripped a page out of her favorite book. "I guess I'll have to take this until you can learn to take care of your things." I put it up on a shelf in her closet. She was screaming and flailing. I told her she needed to quiet down or I wouldn't be able to stay to snuggle for a bit like we usually do. She was in a frenzy, so I left.

About 15 minutes later, she'd calmed down to an occasional sob and a cry for Mama, so I went back to check on her. She'd thrown everything off her bed. She was whining that she wanted her pillow and blankets back. I told, "I'm so sorry honey, but we've talked about how we don't throw things when we're angry, and it doesn't seem like that is sticking with you so I'm going to have to take your pillows and blankets tonight. Because it's cold, I'll leave one blanket with you. Which one would you like?" I took the rest to my bedroom. Another fit.

Another 15 minutes went by. Baby R started to fuss. I went to S and asked her to settle down. She had thrown the blanket I'd left her on the floor. I didn't say anything, just sat with her and held her. She said she wanted to tell me something. I asked her what, expecting a big announcement. She said it was the time of year that we needed to color Easter eggs. I smiled to myself. "You're right. How about we do that this weekend?" We chatted for a minute quietly, then laid down on the empty bed. I could hear Baby R's cries building. I told her I needed to go get Baby R settled down and then I'd be back.

When I came back she told me she was very sorry and she promised to behave. Wow! Where'd she learn that one already? I told her I would bring the blankets back for tonight, but from now on if she throws anything, I'll take it away.

I was very proud of myself. Even though I'm tired (Baby R is still not sleeping well. I'm taking her to the dr. tomorrow.), I stayed calm, didn't yell, and remembered to use my Love & Logic tools. And even though it took an hour and a half to get her to bed, I'm hoping she'll mind better and not throw things. At least for tomorrow anyway.


Pamela Hutchins said...

You did great. You deserve a bubble bath and a moment alone. Altho you probably won't get it. You're in that stage of life where it can be a little crazy and emotional. Hang in there with your beautiful babies. You'll soon find it easier, I know you will. Good job! You are supermom!

Jennifer said...

I have also said to my youngest that I don't read with boys who don't listen at bed time. He loves reading stories so much that it breaks my heart when he cries because we're not reading.'s an enforceable statement that means something to him, so I keep with it. The other evening he said to me, "Mommy can I help you keep your energy so that we can read?" I said, "I would love that A, how will you help?" His reply, "I'm going to hug you now and then take my bath with no reminders" I wish every day could end like that one!

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