Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Quiverfull vs. Feminism

There was an article on Newsweek's website today about "extreme motherhood" - families with 8, 12, 18 children, and how many of them are like that because they have a Quiverfull ideology. Basically they believe that any form of birth control, even family planning, is the precursor to abortion. They are anti the feminism movement, and pro Biblical submission. While it did a decent job of avoiding passing judgment too harshly, there was definitely a bias insinuating that anyone who thinks this way is a bit of a nut. But for my two cents, people can say they're shocked at the idea that the feminist movement was not all it's cracked up to be, but without it, we wouldn't have become a society that requires double incomes to own a home. Granted some of that is perception; many could afford it if they made other sacrifices, but a great portion of us can't. The fact that most homes have two working parents or single parents leaves our kids to be raised by people other than us. While it does take a village to raise a child, the parents still need to be the ones who are the primary caregivers, and that's usually not the case. Kids spend 40 hours a week in childcare and 20-30 with their parents. Who's really raising them? It's no wonder there's such a backlash. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom and still hope to achieve that goal at some point, although it's just not possible for us right now. There are many of my friends who feel the same way, but there's a condescension from the public that to lower oneself to being "just" a stay at home mom and not having a "real" job is failing to live up to one's potential. I believe there's no greater job than raising a child and the only way to fully realize my potential is to be a devoted wife and mother. Not to mention how much better our husband's lives would be if we were there to be full time helpmates instead of giving them the leftovers after we've worked all day and taken care of the kids. I'm so proud of my friends who have more than 2-3 kids - the acceptable average it seems - for having the courage to go against the grain and welcome a world of love into their lives. If I were younger when I'd started my family, I would like to think I would have done the same.

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