Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Lamentations of a Working Mother

Bright pink chalk handprint on the hip of my black dress pants

Photos and artwork blanket my office

Crying on the way to work after spending a long weekend together

Rushing home over lunch to have a few extra moments with the girls

Constantly recalculating the cost of living and the cost of loving

S says she wishes she was sick so I could stay home with her

At drop-off, she cries and says she wants to go home

She sees things I wouldn't let her see at home

She does things I wouldn't let her do at home

She eats things I wouldn't let her eat at home

Thankful for the care providers, knowing they are great

But nothing is as good as mom

Grabbing a banana and granola bar to eat for breakfast at the office 

Needing to workout but not willing to spend another hour away from them

Dreaming of whipping up healthy homemade organic creations

Throwing another frozen pizza/chicken nuggets in the oven for supper

Using food prep time for cuddle and play time instead

Tripping over piles of dirty clothes that spilled out of the hamper

Lamenting the dusty ceiling fan as it spins above me in bed

If only I was at home I could

Have a clean house

Have the laundry done

Have dinner on the table when DH came home at night

Have happy children

Knowing that being home wouldn't solve all those problems

Feeling guilty just the same

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