Bright pink chalk handprint on the hip of my black dress pants
Photos and artwork blanket my office
Crying on the way to work after spending a long weekend together
Rushing home over lunch to have a few extra moments with the girls
Constantly recalculating the cost of living and the cost of loving
S says she wishes she was sick so I could stay home with her
At drop-off, she cries and says she wants to go home
She sees things I wouldn't let her see at home
She does things I wouldn't let her do at home
She eats things I wouldn't let her eat at home
Thankful for the care providers, knowing they are great
But nothing is as good as mom
Grabbing a banana and granola bar to eat for breakfast at the office
Needing to workout but not willing to spend another hour away from them
Dreaming of whipping up healthy homemade organic creations
Throwing another frozen pizza/chicken nuggets in the oven for supper
Using food prep time for cuddle and play time instead
Tripping over piles of dirty clothes that spilled out of the hamper
Lamenting the dusty ceiling fan as it spins above me in bed
If only I was at home I could
Have a clean house
Have the laundry done
Have dinner on the table when DH came home at night
Have happy children
Knowing that being home wouldn't solve all those problems
Feeling guilty just the same
.
