Thursday, May 3, 2012


I don't like Chinese food. (American Chinese, that is. Don't mind actual food in China.) But my husband and the girls love it. Especially orange chicken. Whenever DH gets take out, he is sweet and gets an extra fortune cookie for me. This one came during the darkest hour of my life.

For those of you who don't read regularly, I'll sum up by saying that within a few weeks time at the beginning of the year, I was surprised to discover I was pregnant; found out my parents weren't going to be able to be our part-time daycare providers (due to my mother's worsening dementia), doubling our childcare cost though my income was decreased by half due to cutbacks; DH and I found out we were both going to be laid off entirely; and I had a miscarriage. It felt like we were being kicked when we were down, over and over again.

When I saw this fortune, I was at a point when time had stalled. I was stuck in quicksand, slowly sinking. I knew it wouldn't last. "Time heals all wounds." "In a few years, you'll look back and laugh." Yadda, yadda, yadda. But in the moment, time stood still. Those future years were so. Far. Away. So to think anything would be better in 3 months felt impossible. I wrote the date on it and stuck on the fridge. Which quit working two weeks after I got laid off. Kick.

I'm thankful to say that today is that three month mark. (Barely - just squeaked this post in under the wire.) And were good things in store for me? Yes. Things are certainly better than they were February 3rd. Not because of the fortune. I'm not big into that kind of thing. What I do believe in are the three F's: Faith, Family and Friends. Those were my rock, my solace. And we've been blessed with many good things recently. DH and I both found new jobs. And we got a sweet new stainless steel, French door fridge. Some things are still rocky, but I feel like making it to this milestone was the hard part. Here's to you, Time. Thanks for doing your job and starting to heal us.
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