A co-worker and his wife suffered the awful experience of a miscarriage today. Our VP sent a discreet email asking everyone not to send flowers or cards as they just want to forget about it.
While that's understandable, anyone who has had a miscarriage knows that you can't just forget about it. You are reminded every moment of every day for the first week or so. Even after a few months when you think you have forgotten about it, something sparks a memory. Hearing a song that was playing when you felt the cramping start. Seeing a woman at the same stage of pregnancy that you would have been. Finding out a party has been planned on the day that was once supposed to be your due date.
Hearing of someone else having a miscarriage.
It brings tears to you eyes. For their loss, but also for your own. The pain does subside, and life does go on. But the memory remains. You can't escape it. All you can do is let yourself grieve.
